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Final Starstination

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Final Starstination Empty Final Starstination

Post by Grap_O_Phobic Sun Aug 09, 2009 7:10 am

After seeing some Final Destination-like Mario fanfics, I only figured I had to do something of the sort for Homestar. As gruesome as it will be for some, it has to be done.
RATED T FOR VIOLENCE AND ALCOHOL.

Chapter 1: Sight of Future

Location: Homestar's House
Date: October 31st 2009, 7:00PM

Homestar Runner had organised a party for the autumn holiday widely known as Halloween. Everywhere in the house, there were decorations, all of which were colo(u)red orange or black. There were also Fluffy Puff Malloweens served, which only Homestar ate.

Everyone was there, bearing different disguises. Pom Pom wore a costume to make him look like Kirby, Strong Bad was disguised as Bender from Futurama, Homestar was dressed as Harry Potter, while Coach Z was dressed as MC Hammer. The Cheat was dressed as Sonic the Hedgehog, while Marzipan had a costume of a Hillbilly Singer (from the Muppets Show (yes, again) ), the King of Town was costumed as The Burger King, Homsar portrayed Olimar, the Poopsmith represented C-3PO, Strong Sad was dressed as Tik Tok, Strong Mad wore a SpongeBob disguise, and Bubs had a costume of Goliath, from Gargoyles.

However, not everyone was having a good time.

Final Starstination 864806 Oh man, the Cheathog! This party is almost as boring as King of Town's from last year!

Final Starstination 668388 Alwight evewyones! The cold ones awe WEADYYYY!

Final Starstination 864806 Alright! This may not suck so bad after all!

Then, everyone started taking some cold ones.

Final Starstination 864806 *puts down cold one* Alright, Strong Sad, you're gonna have to drink several bottles of cold ones!

Final Starstination 753783 Why would I?

Final Starstination 864806 Because if you don't, I'll smack you down with this rusty spiked glove I got earlier. *holds up glove*

Final Starstination 753783 AH! I'm still not drinking. Don't you know that drinking too many cold ones causes you to act weird?

Final Starstination 864806 Alright, that is IT! Prepare to meet that fist!

Final Starstination 753783 But wait! How can you wear that thing with boxing gloves on- AH! *gets glove tossed in his face* *falls on ground*

Final Starstination 81405 I had a feling abort this!

Strong Sad finally woke up a few minutes later. Everyone was gathered around him except Strong Mad, Strong Bad and The Cheat.

Final Starstination 753783 Whoa... what happened?

Final Starstination 140799 DaAaAaAaA, tubby man saw the stars of Michelangelo!

Final Starstination 724776 Yeah, basically, Strong Bad knocked you out with his freakin' glove he was supposed to return to me yesterday! (looks to the left as he says the last few lines)

Final Starstination 864806 (offscreen) Hey, I didn't rent that one, I bought it!

Final Starstination 668388 Well, now that evewybody is alwight, we can continue whatevo we weo do-ing... which was... uhhhh...

Final Starstination 532421 The Halloween party?

Final Starstination 668388 Oh yeah, wight. I fowgot what we weo heo fo...

Final Starstination 532421 (annoyed) Homestar, you're the one who organized this party!

Final Starstination 668388 Oh, so you knew about this, huh?

Final Starstination 532421 *sighs*

The party pretty much kept going for a while.

Final Starstination 864806 Oh man, you guys! Now that I clobbered Dumpus with that rusty ol' glove, it's entirely pointless! Uyah! *tosses glove in the chimney fire*

Final Starstination 724776 Strong Bad, you crazy guy! You were supposed to bring that back to me!

Final Starstination 864806 Bite my shiny metal rear, then!

Final Starstination 724776 *sighs, runs to go get the flaming glove* Ah! Hot! Hot!

Bubs tosses the glove in a corner of the room, which then starts spreading the flames. At a surprisingly fast rate.

Final Starstination 668388 (panicking) Holy cwap! Fiyo! Fiyo! *gets an idea* Wait, I know! I'll douse the flames! *runs to snatch a bucket of water, then starts tossing it at the flames*

:homsar: DaAaAaA, there goes the neighborhood!

Final Starstination 864806 Holy crap! We have to leave!

Just then, a flaming beam of wood falls right in the way of the door. Then another falls directly through Pom-Pom, popping him.

Final Starstination 668388 NOoOoOo... Pom pom! How could you die? WHYYY?

Final Starstination 11166 Man, all this fire talk makes me so hungry. I'll take some of those Malloweens! *starts eating the whole bag like a pig, when a bit of flame falls on the bag, soon consuming it all. The marshmallows are burnt to a deadly crisp, as KOT attempts to chew one. It lands in his throat, making him choke to death.

Final Starstination 437878 *holds a sign saying 'NOOO!'

Final Starstination 864806 Finally, we remove some of those lame characters! But us awesome ones have to leave! Except you *points Coach Z*. And you. *points Marzipan* Oh, and you too. *points Homestar*

Final Starstination 753783 You guys! Stop bickering! We have to find a way out of this burning mania!

Final Starstination 668388 Oh, hey! I know! We can go in the kitchen! I have an emogen-ma-jig door there!

Final Starstination 864806 And you didn't tell us before...

Final Starstination 668388 Exactly! I love to build up suspense!

Final Starstination 532421 Well, we can't go there, the flames are already taking down that door!

Just then, a beam of wood swings off, bumping Homsar into the flames.

Final Starstination 140799 DAAAAAH! Tis the end of the road for me!

After some more burning, Homsar falls down dead on the floor, with a dark gray skin. His hat falls off dramatically.

Final Starstination 753783 Not another one! We have to leave this place before we die!

Final Starstination 864806 No one cared about him anyways!

Final Starstination 990702 I DON'T LIKE THIS! *walks up to the flaming kitchen door and bashes it away*

However, the flames spread over there like nuts, as if there were gasoline. Just then, one of the cupboards falls off and blocks the exit door. The curtains then catch on fire, preventing exit through the window.

Final Starstination 668388 Oh man... I don't feel so good. Feels like it's boiling inside of me wight now.

Final Starstination 864806 Good! Like anyone cares.

Final Starstination 532421 Quit it, Strong Bad! Your negativity isn't helping!

Final Starstination 864806 Well, your... uh... Marzipan-ness isn't helping either!

Final Starstination 668388 AH! I'M BOILING! HELP! HELP!

Steam was coming out of his ears and mouth.

Final Starstination 753783 Ack! The fire's heat is boiling the water inside his body! He must've drank too many cold ones!

Suddenly, he catches on fire, spontaneously, and ashes fall down.

Then, a cupboard falls down. The Cheat sees that it's headed towards him, and jumps away, but his legs get squished in the process, leading to an agonizing death.

Final Starstination 864806 (looking up) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Final Starstination 753783 Now, you see what's going on? We have to do something!

Final Starstination 724776 Well, if you had returned your blasted glove, no one would've died!

Final Starstination 864806 Bubs, it was BOUGHT! Don't you remember! You said I could buy it for 999$. And I happened to have that money.

Final Starstination 724776 Well, you didn't hear me right. I said you could BORROW it for 999$.

Coach Z then accidentally knocks a glass of juice on the ground.

Final Starstination 81405 Ooh! Parden me there!

He goes to pick up the glass, but trips on the juice, then hits the drawer, which drops, and lets free its content: Knives and forks.

Final Starstination 81405 OORGH!

You know what happens next.

Final Starstination 724776 Noo! Coach! And we just reconciliated!

Final Starstination 864806 Big deal. No one liked him.

Final Starstination 724776 *stares*

Final Starstination 864806 Oh yeah, right. No one but one.

Final Starstination 532421 Everyone's dieing! But why? Did we ever do anything wrong? Well, I know I didn't! *walks away, mumbling about the others not respecting the environment*

Final Starstination 753783 There's only six of us left! We have to find a way out, or we're good as dead!

Final Starstination 864806 This is a bunch of crap! *smack table* Why do they kill off cool characters along with the uncool ones?

The table lets loose, making Strong Bad lose his balance. His head lands on a table leg, severely hurting him.

Final Starstination 864806 HOLY CRAP! They're going for me next! You can't kill off awesome!

Just then, the lamp lets loose and drops on his head, hurting him some more with the glass bulb. Just then, a bit of flame lands on his left boxing glove.

Final Starstination 864806 AH! I'M ON FIRE!

Final Starstination 724776 Well, take your gloves off, then!

Final Starstination 864806 That was so funny I forgot to laugh!

The fire starts to spread towards the arm. Luckily, Marzipan was nearby and doused the burns with water. However, just then, the sink started to overflow. The other characters had a reflex to jump on the crashed table. Suddenly, an electrical cord bust off and landed in the water, landing the final blow on Strong Bad.

Final Starstination 990702 NOOOOO! WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN, LIFE?

Final Starstination 753783 Well, there's only five of us left, now!

Final Starstination 724776 What do we do? We're stuck on this broken table with 8 dead people, and the water is rising! On top of that, it's electrified!!

The Poopsmith takes his shovel, and tries to push the table away. However, the table had too much weight, which didn't work.

Bubs then decided to take the chairs and make a path to the couch. Everyone makes it but Bubs, who tripped on a chair, then his head hit a chair leg, knocking him out cold.

Final Starstination 753783 Oh no! There's only four of us now!

The water was already halfway to their height. Just then, a burning beam of wood falls on the couch, which proceeds to consume it slowly.

Final Starstination 753783 I dunno how this thing didn't catch on fire before.

The Poopsmith attempted to smack down the fire with his shovel, but the flame was already big enough, which means that the wooden part of his shovel caught on fire, then proceeding to burn him. Without thinking, he jumped in the water to douse the flames, but got shocked instead.

Final Starstination 753783 Whoa. Death is really uncreative.

Final Starstination 990702 IF I DIE, I'M TAKING YOU WITH ME!

Final Starstination 753783 Uh oh.

Final Starstination 990702 Huh? *looks around*

The water was almost to their level. The TV set was rather loose, and about to crash in the water, to deal even more damage. Strong Mad was looking around in worry. Just then, a beams swings off vertically as SM looks up. However, the end of the beam was rather sharp, which leads to stabbing.

Strong Sad shrieks in terror. Just then, he and Marzipan felt something.

Final Starstination 753783 ACK! THE WATER!

However, they didn't get shocked. Marzipan did, however, receive another beam in the back of the head, knocking her out cold in the water, to die of suffocation.

Strong Sad then heard cracks. The house was collapsing! He couldn't get out, since all the exits were blocked by flames! However, a bunch of objects started dropping on his head, covering him and the others in debris.

---

However, just then, he wakes up, with everyone looking at him but Strong Bad, Strong Mad, and the Cheat.

Final Starstination 753783 Oh no! The dream! It's happening!

Final Starstination 724776 What the gibberish are you talking about?

Final Starstination 81405 Yeah, Strong Sad, make some sarnse, will ya?

Final Starstination 753783 I just saw you all die!

Final Starstination 81405 WHORT?!

Final Starstination 724776 Come on, Strong Sad! We're not dead!

Final Starstination 753783 But the dream is re-occuring! Strong Bad is going to throw a glove in the fireplace, and Bubs will pick it up to start a house fire! Then we all die one by one!

Final Starstination 532421 Oh, I believe you, Strong Sad. It's just... strange, and unlikely!

Final Starstination 864806 Oh man, you guys!

Final Starstination 753783 *gets up and runs towards Strong Bad* DROP THE GLOVE, STRONG BAD!

Final Starstination 864806 No way! I'm so done with this thing! Uyah!

Strong Bad tosses the glove towards the fireplace, but Strong Sad catches it after a slow-mo clip.

Final Starstination 864806 No way! You're not having this! Rather die!

Final Starstination 753783 Oh, trust me, you wouldn't! Your death is even worse than you could think! Your head lands on a table leg real hard, then you get a lamp on your face, your glove burns, then you get electrocuted!

Final Starstination 864806 Lies! All lies! The mighty Strong Bad does not die by electricity!

Final Starstination 753783 But it IS true! That is, if you toss the glove in there!

Final Starstination 990702 I'LL TAKE IT!

Final Starstination 864806 Well, I guess I can trust you with that.

Final Starstination 282219 (cheat noises to Strong Sad)

Final Starstination 753783 Well, you were the 5th one to die. And it looked SOO painful!

Final Starstination 282219 (terrified cheat noises)

Final Starstination 864806 Oh, thanks a lot for scaring that poor The Cheathog!

Final Starstination 753783 Why won't you ever believe me?

Final Starstination 140799 I don't see the light at the end of the San Fransisco tunnel!

Final Starstination 753783 Maybe I should tell you all what I saw...

---

Final Starstination 753783 And then, the house collapsed on me. That's when I woke up here!

Final Starstination 1370 (angry bubbling)

Final Starstination 668388 Yeah, that pwobably wouldn't happen in weal life.

Final Starstination 81405 Farks? Knaves? What the heck is this garble?

Final Starstination 11166 No marshmallow would ever kill me! They're all nice! And soft. And yummy!

Final Starstination 990702 YOU ARE A LIAR!

Final Starstination 724776 Knocked out cold by a chair, hey? That's preposterous!

Final Starstination 140799 DaAaAh! I don't have spaceman physics in landtime!

Final Starstination 753783 But it is true! You all died because of Strong Bad's glove!

Final Starstination 532421 Well, what counts is that we didn't die, right?

Final Starstination 724776 You know, this is starting to sound like that stupid movie series with all those guys dieing painfully.

Final Starstination 753783 Final Destination? Ooh... I guess it does! This doesn't look good!

Final Starstination 724776 Don't worry! It's only a movie! That can't happen to us!

:sad: But the premonition! It's all starting to shape up! I have to go! *runs for the door*

Final Starstination 864806 What a baby.

/\/\

Well, there you go. That's the first chapter for ya. So, whadd'ya think? I never watched the movies, but I DID read the Mario fanfics, so I have a good idea of what things should be like. Also, this chapter was more humor-driven than the rest will. The story will most likely take a turn for the worst soon.

Anyhow, comment! Also, if one of you is shocked at the death of your fave character in the dream, then don't worry, they're not really dead.

Grap_O_Phobic

Posts : 3
Join date : 2009-08-09

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Final Starstination Empty Re: Final Starstination

Post by Achenar Sun Aug 09, 2009 7:03 pm

Very Happy That was random my friend. But it is a GOOD random! Wink Well written,but not much of a plot (Waah I sound like a jerk), 4/5
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Final Starstination Empty Re: Final Starstination

Post by Kinda Long Hair Sun Aug 09, 2009 8:52 pm

That was grood! Er I mean great... Good and great!
Nice goin' getting Final Starstination 140799 to be semi-understandable!


Anxiously waiting for chapter 2
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Final Starstination Empty Re: Final Starstination

Post by Uzi-Bazooka Sun Aug 16, 2009 12:47 pm

Personally, I think you could just stop the story right there. I mean, all of the parts of one of today's bestselling books are here: you have the problem, the solution, *a few* funny bits, gruesome death, gruesome death, gruesome death, gruesome death, etc., and it leaves the reader in suspense, so that if it gets popular enough, you can make a sequel!
These days, that's all you really need for a popular book.
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