Uzi-Bazooka's Caption Contest!

Uzi-Bazooka wrote:I got this picture by taking it in the photo booth in Dangersque 3: The Criminal Projective.

Spoiler:

Dov: Whoa! Didn't see you there Hot Simone! Can I leave and change my pants... Now?
Obscure Homestar reference (Simone): 500 points
Hilarity value: 500 points
Obeying the rules: 500 points
Spelling and Grammar: 400 points (capitalization of "Now" for no reason.)
Total Awesome-osity: 1900 points

The Wheelchair: Cloaks? Battle Armor? No way! Real men trudge through the desert in their underwears!
Obscure Homestar reference: 0 points
Hilarity value: 600 points
Obeying the rules: 500 points
Spelling and Grammar: 500 points
Total Awesome-osity: 1600 points

Switchblunderbuss: Here's a little something for the lady-type fans
Obscure Homestar reference: 0 points
Hilarity value: 600 points
Obeying the rules: 500 points
Spelling and Grammar: 400 points (whatever happened to punctuation, it used to be so cool!)
Total Awesome-osity: 1500 points

Strong Vader: Wrestling mask? Check. Boxing gloves? Check. Pants? Mostly check?
Obscure Homestar reference: 500 points ("mostly check" from business trip.)
Hilarity value: 500 points
Obeying the rules: 400 points (three sentences? mostly check...)
Spelling and grammar: 500 points
Total Awesome-osity: 1900 points

DELETED!: It would be really awkward right now if some ugly nerd who has no girlfriend and probably thinks that Alvin and The Chipmunks is a piece of cinematic gold with many different layers of meaning decided to hide a webcam in this room and post a picture of me on a nerdy forum for dozens of people who he doesn't know to write captions for it, because he has no real friends due to aspurgers syndrome taking over his life, eating his mom, shaving his little sister's beard, and giving Fred a movie deal. That was a very long sentence. Well, here's the third sentence, which will eventually become a fan favorite, spawning its own series and tons of merchandise.
Obscure Homestar reference: 0 points
Hilarity value: 100 points
Obeying the rules: 600 points (an extra hundred for cleverly stretching the three-sentence limit!)
Spelling and Grammar: 500 points
Total Awesome-osity: 1200 points

Espemon333: The Cheat? YOU PUT THAT CAMERA DOWN RIGHT THIS MINUTE, OR NO MUTE BUTTON FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK!!!!!!
Obscure Homestar Runner reference: 500 points (mute button from "priveleges")
Hilarity value: 500 points
Obeying the rules: 500 points
Spelling and Grammar: 450 points (highly iffy use of exclamation points.)
Total Awesome-osity: 1950 points

DELETED! wrote:I thought the "fan favorite Sentence 3" would be a sure-fire ticket to victory.

Uzi-Bazooka wrote:

DELETED! wrote:I thought the "fan favorite Sentence 3" would be a sure-fire ticket to victory.

Well, unfortunately, you lost in the "Hilarity" category, or the "How Much Fun I Had Reading Your Entry, Plus How Hard I Laughed."
Here are some key problems you had:
-Calling me "some ugly nerd who has no girlfriend"
-Saying that I "thinks that Alvin and The Chipmunks is a piece of cinematic gold with many different layers of meaning" (that's probably one of my least favorite movies, ever. EVER!)
-Your whole entry screamed "What the sense-make?!?!?"

Spoiler:

Dov: Yes, senior Senor Cardgage. I AM a Spanish pirate wearing cowboy boots! Now, give me all your money!
Obscure Homestar reference: 0 points (Senor Cardgage not obscure enough.)
Hilarity value: 600 points
Obeying the rules: 500 points
Spelling and Grammar: 500 points
Total Awesome-osity: 1600 points

The Wheelchair: Whaddaya mean there aren't any bolt cutters in this game? How am I supposed to steal that dude's mounTAIN bike without bolt cutters!?

Obscure Homestar reference: 500 points (bolt cutters + mounTAIN bike = yes.)
Hilarity value: 500 points
Obeying the rules: 500 points
Spelling and Grammar: 500 points
Total Awesome-osity: 2000 points

Strong Vader: Hey-a, issa me-a, Chico-a-Marx-a. Would-a you like-a da pie-in-a da face-a? Yeah, I didn't really research this role...
Obscure Homestar reference: 500 points (date night-style role research!)
Hilarity value: 500 points
Obeying the rules: 500 points
Spelling and grammar: 500 points
Total Awesome-osity: 2000 points

Espemon333: Are you sure this is what all the hip, young catburglers are wearing this season? I'd rather just tighten the laces again.
Obscure Homestar Runner reference: 500 points (lace tightening)
Hilarity value: 500 points
Obeying the rules: 500 points
Spelling and Grammar: 400 points ("cat burglars" is two words. Also, it's spelled "burglars.")
Total Awesome-osity: 1900 points