The SBEmail Game

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Re: The SBEmail Game

Post by Strong Vader on Mon Nov 23, 2009 6:17 pm

coach zmail

STRONG BAD: And the email had the ball at the top of the key, and Email slam dunked it! It was my greatest moment on the court!

Dear Coach Z,
Is your purple hat-ma-jig part of your head? Or is it, like, a completely separate entity, bent on total World Domination!? Or is it simply stylish?
Yours Noddingly,
Arther S. Standings

{reads "Dear Coach Z," then "blah blah blah blah, blibbedy bloo..."}

Ugh. I'm gonna have to resort to Idiot Filtering this one.

{idiotfilter.exe}

Dear Coach Z,
Why do you wear that hat? Is it stuck on your head, or is it going to take over the world?
Your Friend,
Knowingest J. Drawbridges.

"Dear Coach Z-" Aww, this email still sucks! I'm gonna go get an ice cream sandwich.

{walks out of Computer Room}

{Coach Z walks in}

COACH Z: Hey Strong Bad, I'm brornging back your weightlorss tape! Oh, whart's this box? A bounce box? Awr, it's got my name on it! {reads email} Well, Drabridges, I gort this hat from Mookie Wirlson in 184, and it's the most rarest and morst varlurble kind. {background Strong Sad is heard: "Strong Bad, why do you have ice cream sandwiches? It's the middle of fall!"} It's the Morst Varluarble Rare Player Coach Team Free Country USA National Foortbase Cracket League Hat! {background Strong Sad is heard: "Strong Bad, you know I'm allergic to-AAAARGH!"} Or, MVRPCTFCUSANFCLH {sounds out phonetically} for short. {background Strong Sad is heard: "But I don't even like cookies! I'll tear off your face! I don't even watch football!"}

{footsteps are heard}

{Strong Bad bursts into the Computer Room, with an egg splattered on his head and a lacrosse...thing...point...around his neck}

STRONG BAD: Quick, the Cheat! Take cover! Ergh-{notices Coach Z} What are you doing in my house?

COACH Z: Oh hey, Strong Bad. Thanks for the Thanksgivingween present and-

STRONG BAD: Oh no, Coach Z! Don't touch the Compe! {Strong Sad runs in}

COACH Z: Oh mother of mercy! Ow! Storp that! Ow! {runs out holding the Compe}

{crashing sounds are heard}

STRONG BAD: NOOOOOOOOOO! My Compe! {laser bursts are heard} Strap! Strap in! Ergh-The Cheat! Call tech support and tell them you smashed the Compe again, and that it's not 91 days past warranty. WAAGH! {ducks as Strong Sad flies over him and more crashing sounds are heard}

The Paper comes down.

Dear Emperor Strong Bad, King of Strong Badia, Lord of Tirerea, and Thane of Cawdor,
What would you do if you had a ring that could a) make you invisible, b) make you ruler of all you see, c) give you a combover and creepy glasses and a goatee? And d) would you buy it offa me for five bucks?
Your Friend,
Ebenezer Scrooge

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Re: The SBEmail Game

Post by Uzi-Bazooka on Tue Nov 24, 2009 5:11 pm

baddest of the ring

(the compe's desktop is a poster for a movie called, "THE TOPPLEGANGERS' REVENGE VII")
To the E! To the Mail! E-mail!

Dear Emperor Strong Bad, King of Strong Badia, Lord of Tirerea, and Thane of Cawdor,
What would you do if you had a ring that could a) make you invisible, b) make you ruler of all you see, c) give you a combover and creepy glasses and a goatee? And d) would you buy it offa me for five bucks?
Your Friend,
Ebenezer Scrooge
(reads "Thane of Cawdor," as: "and dumb made-up words,")
(Reads "Ebenezer Scrooge" as "Fatsy Malone")

Well, Madam Malone, I DID have a ring that could a), b), AND c)! And I DID buy it offa you for five bucks!
(cuts to Bubs' Stand, where Strong Bad is leaning over and looking behind the building.)
Thanks for the ring, Fatsy! But next time, let's have less of that fortune-telling crap!
(back to computer room.)
So, you're probably wondering why I didn't use that thing to, like, take over the world using an assistant named I-gor or something. Well, it's plain and simple.
(cut to the field, where Strong Bad is talking to Homestar.)
So, Fatsy the Second, would you like to buy this ring for SIX bucks?
I'll take it! I'll take twelve! (snatches the ring, tries to put it on his non-existent hands, but since they ARE non-existent, the ring just falls to the ground.) What the crap? Hey? Fit on!
(continues struggling as the virtual paper come up.)

Dear Strong Bad,
Put on a non-purple thing and completely fail to dance around.
Totally not MKJoe,
JoeMK

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Re: The SBEmail Game

Post by Strong Vader on Mon Dec 28, 2009 2:10 pm

not dance around

STRONG BAD: Email, tell us. Alls the computers are jealous.

Dear Strong Bad,
Put on a non-purple thing and completely fail to dance around.
Totally not MKJoe,
JoeMK

Well, Mr. MK, that's a dumb question. I have. Whaddaya think I am, like some MochaJohn Jones or something? This is sad, man. I'm gonna go do some...not...boring stuff or something.

{screen fastforwards, and Strong Bad jumps off of his stool. He runs by several times later, being chased by the Cheat, then Marzipan, then Coach Z with a fondue pot glued to his head, and finally, Old-Timey Strong Bad. Dust falls from the ceiling. The Cheat wanders in, and his head explodes.}

{Strong Bad returns}

STRONG BAD: So, Mr. Jackson, I believe your question was on the question of wormholes. So, um, what I found is to never put a wormhole in Marzipan's back yard. It turns it it was the ancient burial ground of like, some, zombie parakeet space panthermobiles or something. I mean, it was freakin' awesome. But, uh, Marzipan kinda totally didn't beat me up with a rake and a broom hybrid that she secretly made in the dark of her shed one night and brought to life. Yeah. You totally wouldn't have wanted to have missed that. On the plus side, I managed to distract you all from the fact that I have no idea what to do for this email. Uh oh! Oh crap! {banging and breaking sounds are heard} I think the Oliphaunt is escaping! {dashes away}

Easter Eggs:
{Strong Bad walks up to the attic and sees Strong Sad with a broom and rake with fangs}

STRONG BAD: GAAH!

STRONG SAD: Calm down, spaz.

Dear Strong Bad,
Have you ever done a ventriloquist act? What would it be about? How awesome would it be? Would you like, have some dancing skeletons or big purple monsters or something?
Your buddy,
that guy Charlie from Texas again.

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Oh yeah. I'm still Strong Vader. Sort of.
It's full of stars.
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Re: The SBEmail Game

Post by Uzi-Bazooka on Mon Dec 28, 2009 3:51 pm

ventriloquest 09

Strong Bad: I'm Guybrush Threepwood, Mighty E-mail.


Dear Strong Bad,
Have you ever done a ventriloquist act? What would it be about? How awesome would it be? Would you like, have some dancing skeletons or big purple monsters or something?
Your buddy,
that guy Charlie from Texas again.
(reads, "that guy Charlie from Texas again" as "Lowercase T...that should be uppercase T...not lowercase T...uppercase...guy Charlie from Teex-us-agg-in")

Strong Bad: Well, Lowercase charlie, I did once do a ventrilo...vintrilqui....venividivici...I did one of those things once. Unfortunately, I spent so much money on the sawesome sign that I didn't have time to buy a puppet. Or come up with jokes.
But everybody still came to watch! Everyone knows that all a good vaccuumcleanerquist needs is a sawesome sign and a sawesomer DVD deal with some guy in the audience holding a video camera. Or, in my case...
(cuts to behind Bubs' stand, where the "sawesome" sign from Ventrilo-Quest '09 can be seen. Strong Bad is holding a single stick of wood on his lap, and Homestar is in the audience with a camera by his leg.)
...dropping a video camera.

Homestar: Whoops! I keep forgetting that I don't have hands!

Strong Bad: (whispering) Homestar! Come on! (regular voice) Well, McSticklesson, how are you today?

"McSticklesson" (really just Strong Bad): I'm good as gravy, Stro Bro!

Strong Bad: Hey, I aint nobody's Bro! I'm an only child!

(silence.)

Strong Bad: Get it? Please?

(back at computer) Strong Bad: Later, we used McSticklesson as kindling for Strong Sad's funeral pyre. Unfortunately, the fire burnt through the ropes we used to tie Strong Sad down to said funeral pyre, and he escaped with only seventeenth degree burns. Stupid McSticklesson! A traitor to the end, that one...
(virtual paper comes up.)

Easter Eggs:
Click on "seventeenth degree burns" to see a downloadable picture of the Ventrilo-Quest '09 sign: http://isaacisawesome.webs.com/VentriloQuest%2009.jpg)

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Re: The SBEmail Game

Post by Strong Vader on Mon Dec 28, 2009 4:05 pm

Forgetting your email again, Uzi?

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Re: The SBEmail Game

Post by Uzi-Bazooka on Mon Dec 28, 2009 4:08 pm

Forgetting your email again, Uzi?

It's my lot in life! It's not a lot, but it's my life! And you and I BOTH know that I'm way better at answering E-mails than at writing them.
Now, let's see:

"Dear Strong Badian Strong Bad of Strong Badia,
When did you first realize that Marzipan was the woman for you?
S.W.A.L.K.,
Jibbliebird"

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Re: The SBEmail Game

Post by Strong Vader on Mon Dec 28, 2009 5:28 pm

STRONG BAD: Come on, come on, let's meet the emailments! Like a {rushed} 64 box of Limozeen crayons that are mixed to make every shade there is...

"Dear Strong Badian Strong Bad of Strong Badia,
When did you first realize that Marzipan was the woman for you?
S.W.A.L.K.,
Jibbliebird"

{reads as "Dear redundant SB, When did you first realize that Marzipan blah blah blah, Freebird."}

Well, Mr. Nerd, I'll have you know that Marzipan is definitely not my lady, you hear? I could go out with anybody I please! The problem is, I don't please anybody. Like, let's see...Ali...Ali's sister...Daphne...Lydia...the tattooed lady...um...OK, maybe Marzipan is the only lady around here. Well, when she first moved here...

{wavy flashback scene}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} It was the spring of 1987...marked down from 1995. At first, our relationship was a bit rocky.

MARZIPAN:: Strong Bad, you look like a dork with those oven mitts on.

{scene changes to Strong Bad and Marzipan in Strong Bad's Strong Badian Strong Badian-style Pizza}

MARZIPAN: Strong Bad, this is the stupidest date ever.

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Until one day...

{Strong Bad is lying covered in blood. Marzipan runs over.}

MARZIPAN: Oh no! Strong Bad! I told you not to mess with my fair-trade tomato sauce!{pan left to see a gallon can of tomato sauce open on the ground}

{cut to the Computer room}

HOMESTAR: Hold on there, SB. I remember things differently!

STRONG BAD: And I suppose you're gonna tell us all about it.

{simultaneously}

HOMESTAR: And I'm gonna tell you all about it!

{voiceover}

It was a Novemberween morn, bright and clear and Marzipan and I were goin' to this fancy marshmallow place...

{cut to Computer Room}

STRONG BAD: Homestar! Marzipan's clearly your girlfriend in this flashback. {resumes typing} And so, it was at that moment, when I realized, that Marzipan would look good with a piano on her house. So, to answer your question, Mr. Bird...a digga...a digga...digadiggadiggadiggadeleted! {jumps and misses the Computer Desk} {Virtual Paper comes up} Hey!

Dear Strong Bad,
Did you ever make a series of comedy movies that broke box offices everywhere? What was it about?
Your friends,
Groucho, Chico, Zeppo, and Harpo.

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Oh yeah. I'm still Strong Vader. Sort of.
It's full of stars.
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Re: The SBEmail Game

Post by Uzi-Bazooka on Mon Dec 28, 2009 8:28 pm

(Okay, I HAVE to answer this E-mail. The Marx Brothers are my favorite comedians EVER! Also, they're Jewish.)

marx mockery

Strong Bad: E plus mail equals Twitter. What?

Dear Strong Bad,
Did you ever make a series of comedy movies that broke box offices everywhere? What was it about?
Your friends,
Groucho, Chico, Zeppo, and Harpo.
(reads, "Groucho, Chico, Zeppo. and Harpo" as: "Julius Henry, Leonard, Herbert, and Adolph")

Strong Bad: Well, guys, I'm afraid that you were never as funny as I was. And I HAVE made several movies! Obsoive! (a montage flies past of all of the Homestar Runner/Sbemail DVDs)
FIRST OF ALL: the things on MY movies are about five minutes long. YOU GUYS had whole 90 minute movies. People these days don't have TIME for that crap!
Also, you blackandwhite weirdoes simply can't COMPARE to the full color glory I have!
Lastly, you guys had to take the time to make actual jokes. I just talk about pop culture and people laugh! Even if they don't get it!
In conclusion, how are you guys still alive?!

Dear Badm'n.
How is it that the Jibblie painting exists? It makes none logical sense at all!
TotalmazinggradeboyomanstylewhoisIam,
Itsme.

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Re: The SBEmail Game

Post by Kinda Long Hair on Mon Dec 28, 2009 8:43 pm

THE ROCULUM

Strong Bad: (to tune of "We're the Kids of Amererica) This is the email of America, oh yeah!


Dear Badm'n.
How is it that the Jibblie painting exists? It makes none logical sense at all!
TotalmazinggradeboyomanstylewhoisIam,
Itsme.

Strong Bad: Well totallosermanyouis. How do you even make any logical sense? Are your parents all right? Like in the head, I mean. Well, now that I have made fun of you, I will (maybe) answer your stupid question. {clears screen}

Strong Bad: I'm not sure how the jibblies painting is real. I'm not even the one you should be asking! Lets check with the owner of this painting.

{zoom out to show the full computer room}

Strong Bad: HEY STRONG MAD, GET IN HERE! SOME STUPID GUY HAS A STUPID QUESTION!

{Strong Mad walks in}

Strong Bad: So, Strong Mad, this guy wants to know ho...

Strong Mad: {interrupting} BE GOOD QUESTION! I MISS GOMER PYLE!

Stro Bro: Yeah man, this wont take long, you can still watch Gomer Pyle. Sooooo... how does the jibblies painting exist? The guy who asked me pointed out that it breaks so many laws of physics.

Stro Ma: Dah?

{close up back on Compé}

The Leg: Well, I guess I'll have to ask our local physicist.

{cut to Bub's Concession Stand}

SB: Hey, Bubs! Are you still a physicist?

Bubs: No, man, I was a physicist last week! This week Imma rocket scientist!

Strong Bad: Whats the difference?

Bubs: Im not sure. Im pretty sure you have to have a collage degree for both of them though... Anyhow, what can I do fors ya?

Strongest of da Bads: You wouldn't happen to know how the jibblies painting if possible, would you?

King Bubsongola: Dang man, dis the cartonn world! Anything can happen! Like this: {the cheat falls from the top of the screen three times} Or this: {onion bubs appears on the counter} or even this: {the jibblies painting appears}

Jibblies Painting: cOmE oN iN hErE....

Strong Bad: Wah jibbliejibbliejibbliejibbliejibbliejibbliejilbbjiejibbliejibbliejibblie...

Compé-per comes up



Ester egg ideas may be told in the chatbox or a PM


My email:
Yo Stro Bro
Do you have a checklist of things to do during your email show?
Nothin's gonna change my world
John Lennon

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Re: The SBEmail Game

Post by Dov on Sun Jan 03, 2010 5:05 pm

lemon list
(TO THE TUNE OF THE DR. WHO THEME SONG): E-e-mail! EEE-EEE-mail! E-e-mail..e-e-e-e....e-e-e-mail...How I miss David Tennant.
Yo Stro Bro
Do you have a checklist of things to do during your email show?
Nothin's gonna change my world
John Lennon
(READS "John Lennon" as: "Johann Lemon.")
I bet I can change your world Lemonbreath!
Mr. lemon, I regret to inform you that I don't have one of those fancy-shmany checklists.
I remember what I'm going to do so well I don't need one!
I have a checklist for MY E-mails...
NOBODY CARES! *throws compe at Homestar*
WE AGREE! NOBODY CARES!
So, McLemonlover: that's why I never use a checklist. Because nobody cares.
*compe-per comes up*

Dear Strong Bad,
What do you think of the very popular forum Strong Badia The Free?
Tennantly yours,
The Doctor
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Re: The SBEmail Game

Post by Uzi-Bazooka on Wed Jan 06, 2010 10:28 am

medical assistance

Strong Bad: It's the loading screen, it's the loading screen... (the desktop is a picture of Homestar's head on fire.)
Dear Strong Bad,
What do you think of the very popular forum Strong Badia The Free?
Tennantly yours,
The Doctor
(reads "Tennantly yuors" as "Tennanannananananana...um...Totally yours," and "The Doctor" as "Nurse Hotgirl.")
Strong Bad: Nurse Hotgirl, eh? Well, I'm glad you decided to come down here, because our medical system is in SERIOUS need of some SERIOUS medical assistance. For example: here's what happened the last time that Strong Mad had a stomachache.
(cuts to the field, where The Cheat, Strong Bad, and Strong Mad [who is looking a bit green] are talking to the Blubbo's Whale.)
Strong Bad (voiceover): The first problem is that nobody can even find our hospital.
Strong Bad (not-voiceover): Look, all I want to know is where the hospital is!
Blubbo's: Please head directly to the nearest bus stamp and pay your way to freedom.
(The scene changes so that the three of them are now talking to Senor Cardgage.)
Strong Bad: WHERE is the freaking hospital?!
Senor Cardgage: Grumble rightly, Belodious!
(now they're talking to Homsar.)
Strong Bad: Where. Hospital.
Homsar: DAAAaaAAAAaaAAAAAaaAAAAAAAaaaAAAH! I'm forever your combover girl!

Strong Bad (voiceover): Eventually, we found it, but only by accident. (They are now in front of a large white building with the words, "FREE HOSPITAL, US OF A!" on it.) Then, you have to explain to the secretary why you're actually there.
Strong Bad: Look, he just has a stomachache!
Homestar (in a nurse outfit): Do you have any fruit to declare?
Strong Bad: NO! We just have a stomachache to declare!
Homestar: Have you gotten your H1N1J1O1P1L1X1Z1G1T1Y1 vaccine? (holds up a huge needle)
Strong Bad: He doesn't HAVE H1...Z1...fhqwgads...whatever. HE DOESN'T HAVE IT!
Homestar: I'm going to have to put you on hold.
Strong Bad: PUT ME ON HOLD?!?! I'M STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!!
Homestar: doo-doot. chk. doo-doo-doot (continues hold music.)

Strong Bad (voiceover): We soon realized, however, that Homestar is REALLY distract-able. So I had The Cheat do a little dance while I sneaked off. Now, by this time, if your patient hasn't DIED, you run into the...ugh..."medicine cabinet" run by "Nurse Smith."
(Strong Bad and Strong Mad look into a closet, where The Poopsmith is shoveling a pile of whatsit.)
Strong Bad: Uh...Strong Mad? Maybe we should just...give you some chicken soup. Or some, like, Tylenol.
Strong Mad: THAT SOUNDS GOOOOOOD!

(back at the compe) Strong Bad: So there you have it, Nurse. That's what I think of your stupid forum: I think it needs some chicken soup.
(the compe-per comes up.)

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Re: The SBEmail Game

Post by Kinda Long Hair on Wed Jan 06, 2010 3:58 pm

Uzi-Bazooka wrote:medical assistance

Strong Bad: It's the loading screen, it's the loading screen... (the desktop is a picture of Homestar's head on fire.)
Dear Strong Bad,
What do you think of the very popular forum Strong Badia The Free?
Tennantly yours,
The Doctor
(reads "Tennantly yuors" as "Tennanannananananana...um...Totally yours," and "The Doctor" as "Nurse Hotgirl.")
Strong Bad: Nurse Hotgirl, eh? Well, I'm glad you decided to come down here, because our medical system is in SERIOUS need of some SERIOUS medical assistance. For example: here's what happened the last time that Strong Mad had a stomachache.
(cuts to the field, where The Cheat, Strong Bad, and Strong Mad [who is looking a bit green] are talking to the Blubbo's Whale.)
Strong Bad (voiceover): The first problem is that nobody can even find our hospital.
Strong Bad (not-voiceover): Look, all I want to know is where the hospital is!
Blubbo's: Please head directly to the nearest bus stamp and pay your way to freedom.
(The scene changes so that the three of them are now talking to Senor Cardgage.)
Strong Bad: WHERE is the freaking hospital?!
Senor Cardgage: Grumble rightly, Belodious!
(now they're talking to Homsar.)
Strong Bad: Where. Hospital.
Homsar: DAAAaaAAAAaaAAAAAaaAAAAAAAaaaAAAH! I'm forever your combover girl!

Strong Bad (voiceover): Eventually, we found it, but only by accident. (They are now in front of a large white building with the words, "FREE HOSPITAL, US OF A!" on it.) Then, you have to explain to the secretary why you're actually there.
Strong Bad: Look, he just has a stomachache!
Homestar (in a nurse outfit): Do you have any fruit to declare?
Strong Bad: NO! We just have a stomachache to declare!
Homestar: Have you gotten your H1N1J1O1P1L1X1Z1G1T1Y1 vaccine? (holds up a huge needle)
Strong Bad: He doesn't HAVE H1...Z1...fhqwgads...whatever. HE DOESN'T HAVE IT!
Homestar: I'm going to have to put you on hold.
Strong Bad: PUT ME ON HOLD?!?! I'M STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!!
Homestar: doo-doot. chk. doo-doo-doot (continues hold music.)

Strong Bad (voiceover): We soon realized, however, that Homestar is REALLY distract-able. So I had The Cheat do a little dance while I sneaked off. Now, by this time, if your patient hasn't DIED, you run into the...ugh..."medicine cabinet" run by "Nurse Smith."
(Strong Bad and Strong Mad look into a closet, where The Poopsmith is shoveling a pile of whatsit.)
Strong Bad: Uh...Strong Mad? Maybe we should just...give you some chicken soup. Or some, like, Tylenol.
Strong Mad: THAT SOUNDS GOOOOOOD!

(back at the compe) Strong Bad: So there you have it, Nurse. That's what I think of your stupid forum: I think it needs some chicken soup.
(the compe-per comes up.)

Now I know you wanted me to log into your stupid forum and interact with all the users and such, but I didnt. Because I hate you.

No email gain?

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Re: The SBEmail Game

Post by Uzi-Bazooka on Wed Jan 06, 2010 5:36 pm

My E-mail:
Dear Mr. Cunninghavm,
Why is it that you most certainly attack both Sir Sad and Walter H. Star?
Is it not true that I get all names right?
For a certainty,
Jeffer E. Befferymudgeman

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Re: The SBEmail Game

Post by Sam Fissure on Fri Jan 08, 2010 7:14 pm

:Chicki-checki my email... maybe.
Dear Mr. Cunninghavm,
Why is it that you most certainly attack both Sir Sad and Walter H. Star?
Is it not true that I get all names right?
For a certainty,
Jeffer E. Befferymudgeman
:Jeffery Beffery Mudgeman, Is that you? Well I know what to do with this one.

>Forward to oldtimeysb@telemographone.com




Ok, I'm feeling lazy, so will someone kindly give Old Timey SB's response?
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Re: The SBEmail Game

Post by Uzi-Bazooka on Sun Jan 10, 2010 7:52 am

(Giving a response to my own E-mail...isn't that, like, bound to cause the end of the Earth? Or at least some kind of mutation-type-thing?)
Old-Timey SB: What's this? Some kind of E-mail arriveth on the telegrammaphone! Let me check it down!

Dear Mr. Cunninghavm,
Why is it that you most certainly attack both Sir Sad and Walter H. Star?
Is it not true that I get all names right?
For a certainty,
Jeffer E. Befferymudgeman

OTSB: Well, I'm glad you asked, Mr. Jefferman! Walter H. Star, who now likes to go by his middle name and call himself "Home Star," used to be my lawyer, but he was constantly tying my witnesses to the railroad tracks and leaving them there with a swoop of his cape and a twirl of his mustache! And that was supposed to be MY job!
As for Sir Sad, he caught the flu, the plague, the black death, H1N1, cancer, rabies, polio, a migraine, pneumonia, the vapors, dysentery, petit mal seizures, GRANDE mal seizures, the typhoid, the cholera, acute pretendicitis, and kind of a bad stomach ache! So his "sir" title was revoked, and he went kind of mad. Now everyone knows him as "that dumpy white kid." Well, actually, Walter H. Star seems to persist on calling him, "Sickly Sam," but whoever cared about what that guy did?
Anyway, Mrs. Jeffer, I'm very glad to have answered your question. But don't write me again!
Don Knotts: How're you gonna pay for this here telegrammaphone, Mr. Bad?
OTSB: Send it collect!!
(some kind of...telegrammaphone...paper...comes up with the words, "Click HERE to E-mail The Strong Bad, you ignorant buffoon!")
MY E-mail:

Dear Strong Bad,
When is Dangeresque 4 coming out? If you haven't started yet,m I have some GREAT ideas. Like:
"DANGERESQUE 4: THE MASTERMIND'S INCENTIVE!" or something. Homsar could play the evil robot-mastermind-incent-o-bot!
Truly the man,
Uzi B. Azooka

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Re: The SBEmail Game

Post by Strong Vader on Sun Jan 10, 2010 11:27 am

Um, Uzi? Already been done. Might want to pick a different SBEmail.

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Re: The SBEmail Game

Post by Uzi-Bazooka on Sun Jan 10, 2010 12:36 pm

Oh, come on! The one time I actually remember to attach my sbemail...
I'm WAY better at answering them then at writing them.
Okay, fine.

Dear Whatever,
Why is Bubs' eye so big? Does he have rabies or summat?
Totally Loading it up,
Belinda the Tenny Stampp, DRWHO

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Re: The SBEmail Game

Post by Strong Vader on Sun Jan 17, 2010 1:35 am

lord of the onion rings

STRONG BAD: Your email may be good, but let's get something understood-Whatever it is, I deletes it! {brings up email}

Dear Whatever,
Why is Bubs' eye so big? Does he have rabies or summat?
Totally Loading it up,
Belinda the Tenny Stampp, DRWHO

{reads as "Dear Awesome Strong Bad Overlord Awesomeguy" and "Lydia the Tattooed Lady, Dr. On-First Pepper"}

You know what, Bearded Linda? I don't know/care about what or why who or whom asked you to ask me about Bubs's left eye, but, um, yeah. I'm not answering this. DELETED! {Strong Sad walks in} What are you doing here, Ronald McDonald McDuck...fat...soup?

STRONG SAD: Oh no, you don't! You're not supposed to delete another email for another 20 emails yet! It's in your contract!

STRONG BAD: My-wha?

STRONG SAD: As a member of the bar, I coulda tried your case in like, five seconds and-

STRONG BAD: And I suppose you're gonna tell us all about it, Gorbachevsdork.

STRONG SAD: It was in the misty days of legend...{screen fades to flashback}...It was an idyllic day in Middle Country Earth-S-A.

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} This isn't from one of your stupid moron books, is it?

STRONG SAD: {voiceover} But the peace was shadowed by the mighty Bubs-ron, whose Eyeball of Merchandising Doom roved the landscape. {Scene shows Bubs with regular eyes, with one in a gigantic telescope with a flame glowing on it. Pan over to see Strong Bad in armor with his BMW...flint and tinder set.} There were three sons in the mighty land of um...

STRONG BADMIR: TROGDOR! Burninating the peasants! Burninating all the Balrogs! In their thatched roof-

STRONG SAD: Um, something like that. There was Strong Madmir, the biggest.

STRONG MADMIR: UM...I LIKE CURLY FRIES!

STRONG SAD: And there was pyromaniac Strong Badmir.

STRONG BADMIR: {in Strong Sad's narrative voice} Hold! For the Kingdom of Trogdor does not let the hosts of Lardor cross over MiniGolf Tirith! {in Strong Bad's voice} Since that's totally the way I talk.

{cut to Computer Room}

STRONG BAD: Oh, boy, I can just imagine how this is gonna go. "Dear Stongbadmir, How do you scrawl with pecan feathers with boxing gauntlets on? I-"

STRONG SAD: And so, in the land of Trogdor, the shadow of the One Onion Ring haunted the empty frying pan of Lardor-

STRONG BAD: Hold on, hold on, hold on. You said there were two weirdos in that Renfield Faire land and one awesomedude named after me. And one dumpus named after you.

STRONG SAD: Oh yes. There was {shimmery flashback again} the bravest and greatest and wisest Strong Sadmir.

STRONG SADMIR: For the gates of Concessionstandiliath must hold against the army of Lardor!

{Bubsron sticks his head up and holds up a sign: "MiniGolf Tirith-$5"}

BUBSRON: That'll be five dollars!

COACH Z-RUMAN Hey! We should form a demo! One two...one two...toilet palantir paper...one two...tryin' to fade me?

STRONG SAD: {voiceover} And so the Fellowship of the Onion Ring set out to throw the Onion Ring into the Frying Pan of Lardor. The leader of the party was Strong Sad the Grey, the wisest and bravest and greatest of the iStari. And there was the future King of New Menore-zipan, Homestaragorn.

STRONG BAD: Wait. Homestar gets to be a king, and I just have a guy-

STRONG SAD: In the land of Trogdor who's the next-uh, Mayor of MiniGolf Tirith and um...finds a bunch of Aztec gold in the land of Basementmoria? And now, Strong Badmir gets shot by a bunch of Marshmallorcs, and-OW!

{Cut back to the Computer Rom. Strong Sad has a bandage over one eye.}

STRONG BAD:So, BB McLinda, that's why Strong Sad has a regular eye and a black eye. {Compe-per comes up, saying "Click here to email Strong Badmir.}

PM me for ideas on the Super Extended Kingsized DVD version.

Dear Strong Bad,
Did you ever go an archaeological expedition to find obscure and occult artifacts? Do you fear death?
Your buddies,
Indiana and Davy Jones.

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Re: The SBEmail Game

Post by DELETED! on Tue Jan 19, 2010 4:38 pm

[to the tune of Christmas is Creepy by Fred Figglehorn] If emails came to life, that would be awesome. AWESOME.

Dear Strong Bad,
Did you ever go an archaeological (arch-a-law-gical) expedition to find obscure and occult artifacts? Do you fear death?
Your buddies,
Indiana and Davy Jones.

Did and Do? What's this, two seperate questions? They obviously aren't in the same tense.

Well That-Pop-Culture-Reference-Stopped-Being-Funny-In-The-80s, I believe I already when on an expedition in Sbemail 191. Likewise, I already explained that I'm never going to die in Sbemail 168. Next time, try to be more original. No, it's not you. It's me. Well, okay, it's you.

Compe, hit me with your best DELETED.

DE-LAY-TED!

*Compeper comes down*

Dear Strong Bad,
What is the prominent religion of Strongbadia? What does it believe in? What are the traditions of this cult faith?
Not crapfully yours,
ExclusiveCheese
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Re: The SBEmail Game

Post by Uzi-Bazooka on Tue Jan 19, 2010 6:27 pm

cheesy religions

STRONG BAD: (to the tune of "I've got a feelin'" by The Beatles)I've got a feelin'...a feelin' I can't hide...oh...E-mail!
(the compe's desktop is a picture of Trogdor as the half-dragon half-man.)

Dear Strong Bad,
What is the prominent religion of Strongbadia? What does it believe in? What are the traditions of this cult faith?
Not crapfully yours,
ExclusiveCheese
(reads "Strongbadia" as "Strong. Space. Capital B. Badia."; "cult faith" as "cultfaith"; "Not crapfully yours" as "Not funny at all"; and "ExclusiveCheese" as "Gorgonzola.")

STRONG BAD: Well, three cheers for the green, white and blue! Anyways, Gorgon-zilla, Strong Badia doesn't have a religion. Let me show you!

(Strong Bad leaves his desk and walks to Strong Badia, where Strong Mad and The Cheat are standing.)
STRONG BAD: Guys, tell Exclusive Stank over here that we don't have our own religion.
THE CHEAT: meh-meh-meh!
STRONG MAD: RELIGION PIGEON!!
STRONG BAD: Ugh. Clearly you guys are not up to the task of proving this guy wrong. Unfortunately, you guys are the only two who actually live in Strong Badia. I guess I'm actually going to have to let somebody else in to prove that I'm on the up-and-up. Or, the down-and-down, at least.

(The scene changes so that, although it's still in Strong Badia, Strong Mad and The Cheat have been replaced by Homestar, who is wearing a bandage on his head.)
STRONG BAD: Now, new Private Homestar, now that you've gone through the painful initiation rituals-
HOMESTAR: (cheerfully) I think I've STILL got gravy in my underpants!
STRONG BAD: -it's time for you to tell the audience that we have no religion.
HOMESTAR: We have no wewigion!
STRONG BAD: No, Homestar, say it with me: re-
HOMESTAR: Re-
STRONG BAD: li-
HOMESTAR: li-
STRONG BAD: -gion
HOMESTAR: -waffle.
STRONG BAD: What?! Okay, forget this. You're banished forever.
HOMESTAR: Yay!

(Homestar is suddenly replaced by Coach Z, who is wearing a bandage on his butt.)
STRONG BAD: Well, Coach Z, now that you've gone through the painful initiation rituals-
COACH Z: I think I've STILL got gravy in my delicate frilly-
STRONG BAD: Gross! Anyway, tell the folks out there that Strong Badia has no religion.
COACH Z: Strorng Bordia hors nor relorgiorniorn!
STRONG BAD: Guess who's ALSO banished?

(Coach Z is replaced by Marzipan. Strong Bad is wearing a bandage on his head.)
STRONG BAD: Marzipan, now that you've put ME through the painful initiation rituals-
MARZIPAN: You had no right to try to fill Carol up with gravy!
STRONG BAD: tell some Cheesy guy that we don't have a religion.
MARZIPAN: Well, ExquisiteCheese. I have to inform you that Strong Badia has no official religion.
STRONG BAD: Finally, we-
MARZIPAN: That way, we can accept all religions! Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Druidism, Scientology, and even those creepy forum fanboys!
STRONG BAD: Banished.

(Marzipan is replaced by Strong Sad, wearing 700 bandages.)
STRONG BAD: Well, Strong Sad, now that you've been put through the original painful initiation rituals, plus a few new ones, how about you tell the guys out there how-
STRONG SAD: Thanks for letting me into your club! I think we should start by making an official religion! We should call it...
STRONG BAD: Banishism!
STRONG SAD: Yeah! Banish...aw...

(Strong Bad is back at his computer screen.)
STRONG BAD: Okay, Cheesebreath, I have NO way of proving that we don't have a religion. Heck, maybe we do! But there's one thing I know for sure: and that's that we sure do use a lot of gravy in Strong Badia.
(the virtual paper comes up.)

EASTER EGGS:
Click on Strong Bad's bandage during the Marzipan scene to see an extra scene after Marzipan leaves.
(Strong Bad is walking around the field.)
STRONG BAD: Let's see...I gotta find someone who can actually speak coherently.
HOMSAR (floating in from the side): AAAAAAAaaAAAAaaaAAAA! I speak like a light paintball!
STRONG BAD: Ugh. I'd rather talk to Strong Sad than that guy.
(The scene with Strong Sad begins.)

Click on "gravy" at the end to see the religious symbols of "The Church of Banishism" (a cross with one of those circle-slashes through it) and "The Magnificent Order of the Gravy" (a six-pointed gravy boat.)

[quote]Dear Strong Sad's Torture Master,
I was wondering about all of those video games with instruments that are so popular now-a-days. Would there be a Strong Bad one? Do you think they're even any good? How much style would it take to PLAY A Strong Bad guitar, anyway?
Grovellingly,
A. Patheticwastrel

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Re: The SBEmail Game

Post by Strong Vader on Tue Jan 19, 2010 7:59 pm

Uzi, that one was one of the best SBEmail game email I've read. I don't pay you enough. I mean at all.


guitar videro game
STRONG BAD: Everyone emails me
But everytime I get one my Compe goes "beep"
Then the giant flatscreen goes bright red
and DELETED!

Dear Strong Sad's Torture Master,
I was wondering about all of those video games with instruments that are so popular now-a-days. Would there be a Strong Bad one? Do you think they're even any good? How much style would it take to PLAY A Strong Bad guitar, anyway?
Grovellingly,
A. Patheticwastrel

{reads as "Strong Sad's Cool Older Brother, that's Mr. Dr. President Emperor Awesomelord Strong Bad to you", "Grovellingly" as "With gravy, Strong Sad. I mean, Homestar. I mean, Pathetic Wasteminstrel."}

Well, glad you asked, Milkshakespeare. The Guitar Hero-Schmero, Teeg Dougland Band Manager, even the Taranchula Blackbody Metal Game ain't got nothin' on the ol' Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People! I mean, Strong Bad's Awesomer and Awesomest Guitar Awesome Game for Awesome Awesomepeople and Not Nerds at all, or SBAAGAG4AANNAA.

So, on the first level, {cut to a white screen} there would be me. {Strong Bad comes down from the top of the screen with a "plop" sound effect} And a guitar. {Guitar falls down.} And, I guess, you would, um, play the guitar. And, uh...Ooh! I know! There'd be annoying recording managers and idiot roadies {Strong Sad and Homestar fall from the top of the screen with "plop" sound effects} and you'd have to beat them in single combat with ice cream sandwiches or something.

And the controller would be way awesome. It'd have things like lazor guns and like a Ping Pong ball gun and pizza maker action.

And every time you get a level up, you'd have cool stuff for the guitar, like lazor beams, amps, cold one dispensers, more lazor beams, and vending machines. {as Strong Bad mentions them, the guitar gains all that equipment.} And-

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Do you want to hear about myyyyyy game?

STRONG BAD: No, shut up! What are you doing here, anyhow? Don't you have some blimp to be getting on the good side of sort of kind of again?

HOMESTAR: Nah, Strong Sad got busy doing some Julio Scissors thing when I got here. My musical video game would have all sorts of cool things, like mans, power level, difficulty level, you know, all the new stuff jones.

STRONG BAD: Homestar, those are only new because you finally managed to insert the 1987 Cube Wars III in your FunMachine. And because you sprayed whipped cream in there earlier in the hopes of making quote-unquote "crisp onion sundaes".

HOMESTAR: Well, check out this console-type game controller!

STRONG BAD: Homestar, I'm a thousand percent sure that's a violin.

STRONG SAD: {heard faintly} Actually, it's a viola! And can someone let me out of this toga? Strong Bad, did you put glue in my Ancient Rome costumes again?

HOMESTAR: {singing} Everyone emails me
And then I hear the tacos singing "Del Cheated"
La da dee da da la dee da da da da
Something something something.

STRONG BAD: Homestar, that's the worst song I've ever. Heard. Since you came up with that "Ode to a Piece of Duct Tape Pie" song. I'm gonna have to ask you to leave now. {sets fire to viola}

HOMESTAR: Awwww...{leaves}

STRONG BAD: Well, Johnny, I actually tried makin' one of my own guitar console thingys for the game but uh, it kinda only has "laser tag" and "peanut brittle dispenser action". There's a cool game I made, though.

{cut to Strong Bad's room. Zoom in to the TV with the FunMachine running a Limozeen guitar game. Strong Bad's face is taped over Larry's and a laser pointer is taped on the scroll of the guitar.}

LARRY PALARONCINI: {in a robotic voice} Rock and roll, guys.

{The Compe-per comes up and Strong Bad keeps playing the game. The Compe-per says "Click here to email Strong Bad. Click here to play Strong Bad's Awesomer and Awesomest Guitar Awesome Game for Awesome Awesomepeople and Not Nerds at all.}

Easter Eggs:

-Click on each of the band video games as Strong Bad mentions them to see box art.
-Click on Strong Sad's stomach when Strong Bad mentions ice cream sandwich duels to see an ad for "Strong Bad's Awesome Wrestling and Ice Cream Sandwich Dueling Academy: Where An Idiot Can Get Ripped Off And Punched In The Face And Have An Ice Cream Sandwich Stolen from him."

Dear Strong Bad,
Can you help me with my history essay? "Explain the significance of the Monroe Doctrine and the changes it underwent since its issuance in 1823, limiting your answer to between 500 and 600 words." I don't care, I just don't want to do it.
Your pal,
Captain Spaulding

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It's full of stars.
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Re: The SBEmail Game

Post by Uzi-Bazooka on Wed Jan 20, 2010 8:10 am

Well, Strong Vader, thanks for the compliment, but I have to say that your "Onion Lord of the Rings" was the best SBEmail I've ever seen, INCLUDING Strong Bad's own!!

defacessay

STRONG BAD: I look at you all, see the love, there that's E-mailing! While my compe gently weeps...
Dear Strong Bad,
Can you help me with my history essay? "Explain the significance of the Monroe Doctrine and the changes it underwent since its issuance in 1823, limiting your answer to between 500 and 600 words." I don't care, I just don't want to do it.
Your pal,
Captain Spaulding
(reads the essay topic as "blah blah blah, nobody cares, several words" and Captain Spaulding as "A schnorrer")
STRONG BAD: Well, Schnorrm'n. I can write your essay no problem! But...first I have to take care of that The Cheat fire. That I started. A while ago. (he runs from the desk.)

(scene changes to the basement, where The Cheat is tied to a pole that's in a pile of kindling, which is on fire.)
THE CHEAT: MWAAAAAH!
STRONG BAD: Don't worry, little guy! I'll save you...hey, what's this? (picks up a piece of paper from the kindling.) Hey, this would make a GREAT essay! Lemme just add some stuff in here (uses his sharpie marker to deface it just like he did in kids book) Man, this is perfect! I gotta show this to Schnorrm'n! (runs back to the computer room.)

STRONG BAD: Well, here you go, Sp'balding! One essay, totally not defaced by me! Take a looks! (holds it up to the camera as the virtual paper comes up.)


The Gettysburg Address essay about some stuff

Four score and seven lotsa years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, essay, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that and this is itll men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation essay, or any nationessay, so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure get good grades. We are met on a great battle-field of that war known as "school." We have come to dedicate a portion of that field essay, as a final bribe for the teacher resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate...we can not consecrate...we can not hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. This really is a good essay, no? The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but i hope the teacher does.t can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which thisessay totally is. who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that essay. from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that this essay government: of the grade-getting people, by the Strong Bad people, for the teacher people, shall not perish from the earth.

My E-mail:
Dear Ignorant Strong Bad,
My math class is full of middle schoolers who don't know anything. I want to prove to them that even a cartoon character who has never gone to school, like yourself, knows more than they do.
To that end, I present you with this math problem: If you have three apples, and you are given three more apples, but then you lose seven apples, how many apples do you have?
Sincerely,
Mr. Shmidlapp

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Re: The SBEmail Game

Post by DELETED! on Wed Jan 20, 2010 6:27 pm

Uzi-Bazooka wrote:cheesy religions

STRONG BAD: (to the tune of "I've got a feelin'" by The Beatles)I've got a feelin'...a feelin' I can't hide...oh...E-mail!
(the compe's desktop is a picture of Trogdor as the half-dragon half-man.)

Dear Strong Bad,
What is the prominent religion of Strongbadia? What does it believe in? What are the traditions of this cult faith?
Not crapfully yours,
ExclusiveCheese
(reads "Strongbadia" as "Strong. Space. Capital B. Badia."; "cult faith" as "cultfaith"; "Not crapfully yours" as "Not funny at all"; and "ExclusiveCheese" as "Gorgonzola.")

STRONG BAD: Well, three cheers for the green, white and blue! Anyways, Gorgon-zilla, Strong Badia doesn't have a religion. Let me show you!

(Strong Bad leaves his desk and walks to Strong Badia, where Strong Mad and The Cheat are standing.)
STRONG BAD: Guys, tell Exclusive Stank over here that we don't have our own religion.
THE CHEAT: meh-meh-meh!
STRONG MAD: RELIGION PIGEON!!
STRONG BAD: Ugh. Clearly you guys are not up to the task of proving this guy wrong. Unfortunately, you guys are the only two who actually live in Strong Badia. I guess I'm actually going to have to let somebody else in to prove that I'm on the up-and-up. Or, the down-and-down, at least.

(The scene changes so that, although it's still in Strong Badia, Strong Mad and The Cheat have been replaced by Homestar, who is wearing a bandage on his head.)
STRONG BAD: Now, new Private Homestar, now that you've gone through the painful initiation rituals-
HOMESTAR: (cheerfully) I think I've STILL got gravy in my underpants!
STRONG BAD: -it's time for you to tell the audience that we have no religion.
HOMESTAR: We have no wewigion!
STRONG BAD: No, Homestar, say it with me: re-
HOMESTAR: Re-
STRONG BAD: li-
HOMESTAR: li-
STRONG BAD: -gion
HOMESTAR: -waffle.
STRONG BAD: What?! Okay, forget this. You're banished forever.
HOMESTAR: Yay!

(Homestar is suddenly replaced by Coach Z, who is wearing a bandage on his butt.)
STRONG BAD: Well, Coach Z, now that you've gone through the painful initiation rituals-
COACH Z: I think I've STILL got gravy in my delicate frilly-
STRONG BAD: Gross! Anyway, tell the folks out there that Strong Badia has no religion.
COACH Z: Strorng Bordia hors nor relorgiorniorn!
STRONG BAD: Guess who's ALSO banished?

(Coach Z is replaced by Marzipan. Strong Bad is wearing a bandage on his head.)
STRONG BAD: Marzipan, now that you've put ME through the painful initiation rituals-
MARZIPAN: You had no right to try to fill Carol up with gravy!
STRONG BAD: tell some Cheesy guy that we don't have a religion.
MARZIPAN: Well, ExquisiteCheese. I have to inform you that Strong Badia has no official religion.
STRONG BAD: Finally, we-
MARZIPAN: That way, we can accept all religions! Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Druidism, Scientology, and even those creepy forum fanboys!
STRONG BAD: Banished.

(Marzipan is replaced by Strong Sad, wearing 700 bandages.)
STRONG BAD: Well, Strong Sad, now that you've been put through the original painful initiation rituals, plus a few new ones, how about you tell the guys out there how-
STRONG SAD: Thanks for letting me into your club! I think we should start by making an official religion! We should call it...
STRONG BAD: Banishism!
STRONG SAD: Yeah! Banish...aw...

(Strong Bad is back at his computer screen.)
STRONG BAD: Okay, Cheesebreath, I have NO way of proving that we don't have a religion. Heck, maybe we do! But there's one thing I know for sure: and that's that we sure do use a lot of gravy in Strong Badia.
(the virtual paper comes up.)

EASTER EGGS:
Click on Strong Bad's bandage during the Marzipan scene to see an extra scene after Marzipan leaves.
(Strong Bad is walking around the field.)
STRONG BAD: Let's see...I gotta find someone who can actually speak coherently.
HOMSAR (floating in from the side): AAAAAAAaaAAAAaaaAAAA! I speak like a light paintball!
STRONG BAD: Ugh. I'd rather talk to Strong Sad than that guy.
(The scene with Strong Sad begins.)

Click on "gravy" at the end to see the religious symbols of "The Church of Banishism" (a cross with one of those circle-slashes through it) and "The Magnificent Order of the Gravy" (a six-pointed gravy boat.)

Dear Strong Sad's Torture Master,
I was wondering about all of those video games with instruments that are so popular now-a-days. Would there be a Strong Bad one? Do you think they're even any good? How much style would it take to PLAY A Strong Bad guitar, anyway?
Grovellingly,
A. Patheticwastrel
BEST.
FANFICTION.
EVER.

If that was an actual Sbemail, it'd be one of my favorites. I actually always hoped The Brothers Chaps would do some sort of Strong Badian cult episode...maybe dedicated to Trogdor or something? But that was HILARIOUS, especially the Marzipan scene.

Congrats, you just won a pizzatrophy.
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Re: The SBEmail Game

Post by These are my saturdays on Wed Jan 20, 2010 6:41 pm

DELETED! wrote:
Uzi-Bazooka wrote:cheesy religions

STRONG BAD: (to the tune of "I've got a feelin'" by The Beatles)I've got a feelin'...a feelin' I can't hide...oh...E-mail!
(the compe's desktop is a picture of Trogdor as the half-dragon half-man.)

Dear Strong Bad,
What is the prominent religion of Strongbadia? What does it believe in? What are the traditions of this cult faith?
Not crapfully yours,
ExclusiveCheese
(reads "Strongbadia" as "Strong. Space. Capital B. Badia."; "cult faith" as "cultfaith"; "Not crapfully yours" as "Not funny at all"; and "ExclusiveCheese" as "Gorgonzola.")

STRONG BAD: Well, three cheers for the green, white and blue! Anyways, Gorgon-zilla, Strong Badia doesn't have a religion. Let me show you!

(Strong Bad leaves his desk and walks to Strong Badia, where Strong Mad and The Cheat are standing.)
STRONG BAD: Guys, tell Exclusive Stank over here that we don't have our own religion.
THE CHEAT: meh-meh-meh!
STRONG MAD: RELIGION PIGEON!!
STRONG BAD: Ugh. Clearly you guys are not up to the task of proving this guy wrong. Unfortunately, you guys are the only two who actually live in Strong Badia. I guess I'm actually going to have to let somebody else in to prove that I'm on the up-and-up. Or, the down-and-down, at least.

(The scene changes so that, although it's still in Strong Badia, Strong Mad and The Cheat have been replaced by Homestar, who is wearing a bandage on his head.)
STRONG BAD: Now, new Private Homestar, now that you've gone through the painful initiation rituals-
HOMESTAR: (cheerfully) I think I've STILL got gravy in my underpants!
STRONG BAD: -it's time for you to tell the audience that we have no religion.
HOMESTAR: We have no wewigion!
STRONG BAD: No, Homestar, say it with me: re-
HOMESTAR: Re-
STRONG BAD: li-
HOMESTAR: li-
STRONG BAD: -gion
HOMESTAR: -waffle.
STRONG BAD: What?! Okay, forget this. You're banished forever.
HOMESTAR: Yay!

(Homestar is suddenly replaced by Coach Z, who is wearing a bandage on his butt.)
STRONG BAD: Well, Coach Z, now that you've gone through the painful initiation rituals-
COACH Z: I think I've STILL got gravy in my delicate frilly-
STRONG BAD: Gross! Anyway, tell the folks out there that Strong Badia has no religion.
COACH Z: Strorng Bordia hors nor relorgiorniorn!
STRONG BAD: Guess who's ALSO banished?

(Coach Z is replaced by Marzipan. Strong Bad is wearing a bandage on his head.)
STRONG BAD: Marzipan, now that you've put ME through the painful initiation rituals-
MARZIPAN: You had no right to try to fill Carol up with gravy!
STRONG BAD: tell some Cheesy guy that we don't have a religion.
MARZIPAN: Well, ExquisiteCheese. I have to inform you that Strong Badia has no official religion.
STRONG BAD: Finally, we-
MARZIPAN: That way, we can accept all religions! Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Druidism, Scientology, and even those creepy forum fanboys!
STRONG BAD: Banished.

(Marzipan is replaced by Strong Sad, wearing 700 bandages.)
STRONG BAD: Well, Strong Sad, now that you've been put through the original painful initiation rituals, plus a few new ones, how about you tell the guys out there how-
STRONG SAD: Thanks for letting me into your club! I think we should start by making an official religion! We should call it...
STRONG BAD: Banishism!
STRONG SAD: Yeah! Banish...aw...

(Strong Bad is back at his computer screen.)
STRONG BAD: Okay, Cheesebreath, I have NO way of proving that we don't have a religion. Heck, maybe we do! But there's one thing I know for sure: and that's that we sure do use a lot of gravy in Strong Badia.
(the virtual paper comes up.)

EASTER EGGS:
Click on Strong Bad's bandage during the Marzipan scene to see an extra scene after Marzipan leaves.
(Strong Bad is walking around the field.)
STRONG BAD: Let's see...I gotta find someone who can actually speak coherently.
HOMSAR (floating in from the side): AAAAAAAaaAAAAaaaAAAA! I speak like a light paintball!
STRONG BAD: Ugh. I'd rather talk to Strong Sad than that guy.
(The scene with Strong Sad begins.)

Click on "gravy" at the end to see the religious symbols of "The Church of Banishism" (a cross with one of those circle-slashes through it) and "The Magnificent Order of the Gravy" (a six-pointed gravy boat.)

Dear Strong Sad's Torture Master,
I was wondering about all of those video games with instruments that are so popular now-a-days. Would there be a Strong Bad one? Do you think they're even any good? How much style would it take to PLAY A Strong Bad guitar, anyway?
Grovellingly,
A. Patheticwastrel
BEST.
FANFICTION.
EVER.

If that was an actual Sbemail, it'd be one of my favorites. I actually always hoped The Brothers Chaps would do some sort of Strong Badian cult episode...maybe dedicated to Trogdor or something? But that was HILARIOUS, especially the Marzipan scene.

Congrats, you just won a pizzatrophy.

Fixed your quote up.
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Re: The SBEmail Game

Post by It on Fri Jan 22, 2010 5:57 pm

{Compe background: 3D image of Rather Dashing with Mendelev and Dongelev}

Strong Bad: Who's checking email? Why, that would be meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Dear Strong Sad's Torture Master,
I was wondering about all of those video games with instruments that are so popular now-a-days. Would there be a Strong Bad one? Do you think they're even any good? How much style would it take to PLAY A Strong Bad guitar, anyway?
Grovellingly,
A. Patheticwastrel

Strong Bad: Well, Pathetic Weasel, ever since I destroyed the idea of a 2nd Strong Bad Sings, I've been recording new songs for... Strong Bad Sings and Other Type Hits, Along with Other Other Type Hits, THE JAME!!!! Choose from bands like Limozeen, Taranchula, DOI, Cool Tapes, sloshy, and even They Might Be Giants! Then, perform songs as poifect as possible, and the better you do, the more money you get! Then, you can buy cool outfits for your Strong Bad! And if you play long enough, you unlock SENOR CARDGAGE WEARING HOMSAR'S BOWLER HAT WHILE SITTING ON TOP OF EH, STEVE! MODE!!!!!!!!! It'll be great once it's done. I'm already finished the demo! It only has Trogdor, Because It's Midnite, Everybody to the Limit, and Please Stop Trying to Handle My Style. Compe-per, show me that download!

{Compe-Per comes up, with "Click here to play SBSAOTH,AWOOTH,TJ Demo!"

Easter Eggs:
Click on Style to see Homestar's Karaoke video from sbemail disc 2
Click on Midnite to see a scene with Limozeen
Larry: Okay, so we're gonna fire him right?
Gary: Totally!
Perry: But I always thought of him as the best red-headed drummer ever!
Mary: What're you guys talking about?
Larry: We're firing Chuz.
Mary: Can I have his lunch?
{Everyone laughs}
Mary: No, seriously, give me his lunch.

My Email:

Dear Strongest of the Bads (or would Baddest of the Strongs be better?)

What is your New Years resolution for 2010?

your pal,
Homeschool Winner
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Re: The SBEmail Game

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