Poker Night at the Inventory

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Re: Poker Night at the Inventory

Post by arachnidsGrip on Fri Sep 17, 2010 2:24 am

Don't you sass me, or I will 8ring out my favorite RPG Rockets and my o8session with 8ooks.


Last edited by arachnidsGrip on Fri Sep 17, 2010 3:34 am; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Poker Night at the Inventory

Post by These are my saturdays on Fri Sep 17, 2010 2:27 am

Uzi-Bazooka wrote: Now I really want to play a Midnight Crew Poker game.
There would be a lot of stab wounds. And a lot a lot of swears. Also quite a few hands that turn out to be guns and knives instead of cards.

Basically it would be like russian roulette with all the chambers loaded.
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Re: Poker Night at the Inventory

Post by arachnidsGrip on Fri Sep 17, 2010 2:29 am

What? No long winded, sh**tly written, and 8oring dialogue example from this theoretical game you talked a8out? You disappoint me Rimmer.
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Re: Poker Night at the Inventory

Post by These are my saturdays on Fri Sep 17, 2010 2:30 am

Did you just challenge me to a terrible fan fiction contest?

oh you done did it now
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Re: Poker Night at the Inventory

Post by arachnidsGrip on Fri Sep 17, 2010 2:31 am

8ring it on dead face
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Re: Poker Night at the Inventory

Post by These are my saturdays on Fri Sep 17, 2010 3:01 am

Spoiler:
SAPADES SLICKLY WAS SITTING AROUND WITH HIS TABLE WITH THE CARDS FROM HIS DECK ON THE TABLE WHEN THE HEARTS BOXCARS CAME IN AND SAT DOWN

"SLICK DO YO WANT TO PLAY A GAME OF EGYPTIAN RAT SCREW" THE BOXCARS MAN ADVENTURE

"NO BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW THAT GAME YOU A**HOLE" SPADES SAID IN HIS FACE

"THEN TIME TO PLAY THE BETER GAME WE LIKE" THE GUY WITH THE TALL SAID

THEN THE RANG THE HORSE MADE DINNER BELL AND THE OTHER TWO STOKED CRIMINAL MAFIA MOBSTER VILLIAN GANGSTERS, ALEX THE DIAMOND FRIEND AND HURTS DONUT, CAME IN TO THE ROOM TO PLAYTHE GOOD GAME OF POKER THEY DECIDED IT WOULD BE TEXAS HOLD EM BECAUSE THEY KNEW HOW TO PLAY SUCH A GAME.

"WHICH RULES WILL WE BE PLAYING SAID THE CLUBS DROOG"

"YOU STUPID F***A** WEE ARE TO BE PLAYING TEXAS HOLD EM BECAUSE WE ALL ARE KNOWLEDGABLY VERSED IN ITS BRAIN WAVE CONCURRENCE." SAID THE DICE ROLL ORGAN

YOU CAN'T COMMIT TO MY SKILLS OF PLAYING YELLED SLICKLY MAN

THEY SHUFFLED THE DECK AND ALL WERE GEVEN MANY BAD PAPER CUTS BUT SINCE THE PAPER WAS ACTUALLY SWORDS AND GUN THEY WERE REAL CUTS TOO AND THE BLOOD HIT THE TABLE WITH A POSH SOUDNEFFECT.

"WIL YO DEALT THE CARDS ALREADY PAIN BOMB" SAID THE FRIENDSHIP SCHOOLBOY

"MY HANDS ARE THE BLEEDING GET ME AN OPIATE"

THE BOX OF BLOOD DONATION TO THE BODY ORGAN VEIN GOT UP AND WENT TO THE FIRST AID KEIT AND OPENED IT BUT INSIDE WERE JUST A MANY OF TOY DOGS.

"WHAT THE F*** WHO DID THESE"

THEN IT WAS THE TIME THAT GEMSTONE RUSSIAN HAT HAD PLAYED PRANK THAT NEVER WORKED BUT NOW IT HAD SO HE CHUCKLED

"STOP THE CHUCKLES BUTTHAT CHUCKLES BUTTHAT THAT IS MY HANDS THAT ARE BLEEDING AND YOU PUT DOGS IN MY OPIATE FRIEND" SAID THE SHORT DONKEY WITH NO MOUTH

"HOLY SH** I LOOOOOOVE DOGS" SAOD THE THE ONE WITH THE EYES THAT LOOK LIKE TOOTHPICKS BUT NOT THE MOUTH TOO (I GUESS THIS IS THE SLICK ONE I NEVER HAVE BEEN READ THE MICROSOFT PAINT STORIES AS BY WRITTEN IS ALEXANDER WHORE I ONLY WATCH THE MOVING PITCUTE SHOES HE PUTS THEM UP SOMETIMES)

SO THEN THE ONE MADE OF OIL THAT HATES THE GREEN TRON LADY AND IS A GARDENER TRIED TO BE EATING ALL OF THE DOGS BUT THEY WERE PLASTIC DOGS AND THEY WERE VERY MALNOURISHED WITH THE FAC T THAT HE IS BEEN EATING THEM THIS TIME TODAY SO THEY BARK HIS INSIDES (NO NOT LIKE A TREE ARE YOU STUPID)


SLICKSLY SHOVEL CURL OVER IN BALL AND CRY LIKE THE KID WITH THE EYE GLASSES AND THE GOKU HAIR DID WHEN HE SAW THE DOUCHEBAG MAN WITH HTE PIPE

"SOMONE HELP OUR LORD AND MASTER" SAID THE ORGAN THAT MAKES YOU FEEL FUNNY FEELINGS ABOUT SOMEONE PRESUMABLY (LIKE WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE INSPECTOR GADGET PIRATE LADY AND THE BULL MAN THAT HAS NO LEGS AND MUST BE LIKE THE DALEK LEADER GUY THEN BUT A KID FROM SPACE HE IS) BUT THIS ORGAN MAN IS ALSO A LUCK TECHNICUE

CLOWCKWORK PALE THEN GOT HIS POOL BAT AND HIT THE TOOLMAN BP SPILL WITH IT AND HE CRIES SOME MORE (LIKE VIDEO GAME WITH BIG RUSSIAN MAN WHO EATS SANDWICH AND LOVE GUN)

"NO STOP HE IS NOT THE ENEIMEYI YOU GOTT THE DOGS TO WORRY ABOUT MILK BAR!!!" AND THE NTTHAN TWAS THAT AND TEH FOGS WERE FINE WITH THE DIRECTION OF SLICKY NICKYS BOWLS AND THEN THERE WAS PAIN FOR DAYMINUTE IT FELT LIKE BUT IT WAS ONLY SECOLEDNS AND THEY WERE PLAYING THE CARDS LIKE SHARKS AGAIN.

"PLEH MAY HAND IS JUNK" SAID BMOBSPLOSION BOVINE DICK HAVER

"YOU HAVE THE TEREZIBLE POKER FACE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH" SAID CAPTAIN DROUCECARS

BUT THEN JAKSON DARK GOT THE NIFE FROM HIS SECRET AND KILLED THEM BECAUSETHEY WERE GREEN IMPOSTERS CALLED THE SATIN AND THEN THEY DIED

"GOODBYE FLOWER AND TRAILS AND DORSAL AND WRECNH NOW ITS TIME TO KILL THE SNOWANGERL"

SO THEN SLOCK GOT THE RPG MISSLES AND THE BOOKS AND HE GRABBED UP THE FRINEDS THAT WERE REAL AND THEY FLUE TO THE MONTAIN MOANISON FORTRESS TO PUY THE BLUUETT THROUGH HER HEAD

BUT WHEN THEY ARRIVED IT WAS WHITEMAN HEADBALL AND HE FIRES THE LASERS BECAUSE HE IS UNDER IMPRESSION OF DOUBT THAT THEY ARE THE EYPATECH WITCH WITH THE MAGICAL ARM FROM THE CREEPBOY WHO BUILDS THE BATTLEBOTS EXCEPT FOR THE RED ONE WHO IS NEVER ALIVE BUT WE THINK SO BUT THAT IS A LIE (WWOOPS SPOILER)


AND THEN THEY TRIES TO KILL HIM BE SHE HAS WHAT IS TOOOO POWERFUL BUT THEN HE OPENS HIS EYES AND SEES THEY ARE THE NIGHTTIME GANG AND HE LIVES ON TO BE A GREAT MAN BECAUSE HE LET THEM FREE

SO THYE RUN DOWN TO THE CHAMBER AND THEY FIND THE SNOW AND THEY SHOOTS ATE HER BUT IT DOES NOTHING BECAUSE SHE IS THE CANT BE SHE IS UNIVERSE SO THEY GIVE UP AND SHE LAEVE AND THEN LORD SPANISH IS THEYERE AND THYE KIL HIM INSTEAD AND PACK UP THE SPORTS SULLPY CARDS AT THE BASE AND SET TABLE ON HIS CORPSE TO CONTINUE THE GAME

"I HAVE THE FICE OF ACES" SAID THE DEMOMAN DEMOCRAT WITH THE BOMB BOMB HAT

"THAT IS NOT A CARD YOU TARD HEY THAT RHYMES I SHOULD MAKE RAP ALBUM NUMBER ONE IN AMERICAN CHARTS ONE DAY I WILL DO THAT NOW/


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Re: Poker Night at the Inventory

Post by arachnidsGrip on Fri Sep 17, 2010 3:33 am

Spoiler:

It was a quiet day at the Midnight Crew Hideout 8ecause they are all a 8unch of 8oring yutzes who do nothing all day, 8ut that was interrupted when Spades Slick said that the annual poker game was to be played today against the Felt.
"What are we going to do! We suck HARD at everything!" said Diamonds Droog, who is a fat a**hole that meddles in places he should not meddle and orchestrates massive 8eatdowns for NO REASON and he is 8asically a huge stupid dick that is 8ad at life.
"I know someone who can help us in this hour of need" said Spades, tears of joy welling in his eyes as he imagined the 8eauty of victory.
"Who is iiiiiit?" asked Clubs Deuce, the short lame guy with no useful skills.
"It is the fifth member of the Midnight Crew. The one and only.... VRISKA SERKET!"
They all let out a chorus of cheers as the fifth member stepped down off of her sky8oat.
"Alrighty chaps let's go kick the a**es off of those limey lime colored sharks or whatever. I don't care in the sliiiiiiiightest."
"Yes thank you thank you so much they would have murdered us!" said Hearts Boxcars, the coolest and most 8rilliant of the three. He fell to his knees and began to kiss the ground 8eneath my- I mean her feet. The others followed suit.
"Enough!" she said. "We need to formul8 a strategy, and I already have one and it doesn't involve you. Although I wiiiiiiiill need a single volunteer."
"No questions I am going" said Spades. He sidled up next to her and the other three saluted them.
"Alright Spades you's my wingman. Don't f*** up."
"Yes ma'am" he said 8egrudgingly. Slick doesn't like orders. Too 8ad for him though.

L8ter, at the pool hall, the two mobsters 8urst through the door guns 8lazing. They murdered everyone in the hall except for the Felt. All the survivors immediately sat down and 8egan to play poker. After the third deal of 8lackjack, Vriska winked at Spades, who in turn scrunched his........facial features. They both gra88ed the two card from their hands (They had timed it just right to 8oth get two's) and raised it at the group. THE CARDS WERE SUDDENLY FULLY AUTOMATIC DICE REVOLVERS. The pair proceeded to mow down each and everyone of the Felt save for Snowman, who was at the dinner party for Problem Sleuth's marriage, Doc Scratch, who was off being a pretentious a**hole, and Lord English 8ecause he was 8usy 8eing a demon and whatnot.

Slick surveyed the 8odies of the dead and dying, finishing off the writhing survivors. Vriska looked at the aftermath of the carnage and then turned to leave.
Spades was startled. "Vriska no! The Crew needs you! We're a 8unch of useless goits without you!"
"Sorry Slick, 8ut my heart is needed elsewhere." she said as she 8oarded Eridan Ampora's gigantic battleship, "The Seahorse."
As she flew off into the sunset, Slick was 8riefly relieved to 8e in control of his team again, although he knew that more than half of their competence had just flown off into o8lvion.
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Re: Poker Night at the Inventory

Post by These are my saturdays on Fri Sep 17, 2010 3:36 am

I think I broke the off topic limit. The needle is spinning around and unable to be buried. I won the off topic lottery!
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Re: Poker Night at the Inventory

Post by Uzi-Bazooka on Fri Sep 17, 2010 5:42 pm

I think I like Disk's better. Of course, they're BOTH Disk's, so who can say?
Also, I think this website not only wins the "most wretched hive of bad jokes and stupidity" prize, but it also needs to replace "whaaaaat are you serious WENDY?"

EDIT: I want to play Doom/Indiana Jones/AVP/Ghostbusters Poker so bad now, it's not even funny. I will pay twenty bucks to the first guy who makes that.

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Re: Poker Night at the Inventory

Post by These are my saturdays on Sun Sep 19, 2010 1:58 am

Rimmer wrote:THE FRIENDSHIP SCHOOLBOY

"MY HANDS ARE THE BLEEDING GET ME AN OPIATE"

"STOP THE CHUCKLES BUTTHAT CHUCKLES BUTTHAT THAT IS MY HANDS THAT ARE BLEEDING AND YOU PUT DOGS IN MY OPIATE FRIEND" SAID THE SHORT DONKEY WITH NO MOUTH

(I GUESS THIS IS THE SLICK ONE I NEVER HAVE BEEN READ THE MICROSOFT PAINT STORIES AS BY WRITTEN IS ALEXANDER WHORE I ONLY WATCH THE MOVING PITCUTE SHOES HE PUTS THEM UP SOMETIMES)

"SOMONE HELP OUR LORD AND MASTER" SAID THE ORGAN THAT MAKES YOU FEEL FUNNY FEELINGS ABOUT SOMEONE PRESUMABLY (LIKE WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE INSPECTOR GADGET PIRATE LADY AND THE BULL MAN THAT HAS NO LEGS AND MUST BE LIKE THE DALEK LEADER GUY THEN BUT A KID FROM SPACE HE IS) BUT THIS ORGAN MAN IS ALSO A LUCK TECHNICUE


"YOU HAVE THE TEREZIBLE POKER FACE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH" SAID CAPTAIN DROUCECARS


"GOODBYE FLOWER AND TRAILS AND DORSAL AND WRECNH NOW ITS TIME TO KILL THE SNOWANGERL"

BUT IT DOES NOTHING BECAUSE SHE IS THE CANT BE SHE IS UNIVERSE SO THEY GIVE UP AND SHE LAEVE

Wow I usually don't like the sh** I do but I am still chuckling at a lot of this.
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Re: Poker Night at the Inventory

Post by Uzi-Bazooka on Sun Sep 19, 2010 11:51 am

It was a highly promise volume of fun.

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Re: Poker Night at the Inventory

Post by MichaelXX2 on Sun Sep 19, 2010 3:38 pm

If I actually knew how to PLAY poker this might be an interesting game to play. Or does it require no knowledge of poker whatsoever? I've got some Wii points laying around...
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Re: Poker Night at the Inventory

Post by Uzi-Bazooka on Sun Sep 19, 2010 6:20 pm

You can't get it on Wii. And I'm pretty sure that no prior knowledge is required. At least, I hope so. I've already bought it and I'm as clueless as you (when it comes to Poker, at least.)

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Re: Poker Night at the Inventory

Post by MichaelXX2 on Sun Sep 19, 2010 6:31 pm

I see. Well, I probably won't get it, seeing as how I've got other crap to spend my money on, or lack thereof.
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Re: Poker Night at the Inventory

Post by Uzi-Bazooka on Sun Sep 19, 2010 7:23 pm

Everything is better with those 3 words added to the end of it.

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Re: Poker Night at the Inventory

Post by MichaelXX2 on Sun Sep 19, 2010 7:26 pm

Sounds crazy, but thought it was worth a shot!
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Re: Poker Night at the Inventory

Post by Uzi-Bazooka on Sun Sep 19, 2010 7:33 pm

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I dare someone to quote this without a spoiler.

____________________________________________
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Uzi-Bazooka
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Re: Poker Night at the Inventory

Post by MichaelXX2 on Sun Sep 19, 2010 7:35 pm

YOU DARE BRING RE:FWDS INTO MY LAIR
YOU MUST DIE
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MichaelXX2
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Re: Poker Night at the Inventory

Post by Falcon Paunch on Sun Sep 19, 2010 7:36 pm

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Falcon Paunch
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Re: Poker Night at the Inventory

Post by MichaelXX2 on Sun Sep 19, 2010 7:39 pm

Wrong die. That's the "OR ELSE YOU WILL DIE" die, not the "YOU MUST DIE" kind of die.
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MichaelXX2
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Re: Poker Night at the Inventory

Post by These are my saturdays on Sun Sep 19, 2010 7:44 pm

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These are my saturdays

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Age : 33
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Name: Just another play for today

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Re: Poker Night at the Inventory

Post by Uzi-Bazooka on Sun Sep 19, 2010 7:48 pm


____________________________________________
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Uzi-Bazooka
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Age : 21
Location : Brainblow City. If I leave, I could be shot on sight!

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Re: Poker Night at the Inventory

Post by Falcon Paunch on Sun Sep 19, 2010 8:16 pm

Uzi-Bazooka wrote:
LOL.
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Re: Poker Night at the Inventory

Post by MichaelXX2 on Sun Sep 19, 2010 8:26 pm

Yeah. That comic is win. (100 posts already? Great Scott!)
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MichaelXX2
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Re: Poker Night at the Inventory

Post by These are my saturdays on Sun Sep 19, 2010 8:38 pm

MichaelXX2 wrote:That comic is win.

MichaelXX2, in Gen Chat wrote:Good syntax! You fail!

Irony
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These are my saturdays

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Re: Poker Night at the Inventory

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


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