HALLOWEEN HORROR

Okay, everyperson. It's Halloween-the second scariest night of the year (after Election Day, of course). Many people think that Halloween is scary because of the little kids running around street corners, begging for candy. But they don't know what REAL horror is like.
You see...I'm cursed.

Every Halloween, I, Uzi-Bazooka, turn into the most horrifying, terrible, downright EEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil creature imaginable. And it always happens right about...
in an hour. Okay, that sucks. I had the timing right and everything! Well, I guess I'll just have to wait it out.

==>

Okay, it's been an hour. Well, that was fun. I especially enjoyed the part with the flaming sharktopus and the left-handed asparagus, myself.
But to continue.

I'm not the only one that's cursed. It can happen to anyone, or anything. ANYWHERE.
Photoshop turns into...MS PAINT!
Facebook turns into...DIGGIT!
Homestar Runner turns into...LOADINGREADYRUN! Actually that sounds pretty awesome.
Doom turns into...CHEX QUEST! Actually I really like ChexQuest and would've done a Let's Play of it if that hadn't been done by someone else already. Look it up on YouTube. Pretty funny.
The Weather Channel turns into...FOX4NEWS!
Prairie Home Companion turns into...NATIONAL PUBLIC RADIO!

And I, oh yes, I...I turn into the most terrifying creature in the...
the...
OH NO!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH! "He wouldn't have taken the time to write 'aaargh', he would've just said it!"

PREVIOUSLY ON HALLOWEEN HORROR (Sponsored by Chex Quest):

And I, oh yes, I...I turn into the most terrifying creature in the...
the...
OH NO!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!

NOW ON HALLOWEEN HORROR (Sponsored by National Public Radio):
It's happening! I'm turning into...
A SPAMMER!
Ughghghaghghgahgahszxcxzc...

This is AHMED SALEH ABDUL KHALIQALIFI , Presently stationed with the possition of assistant
Manager as a trusted store-keeper herein United Nation Bonded WareHouse Wales Branch ..Office,
Division in South West of Great Brintain .



Dear recipient,
Avangar Technologies announces the beginning of a new unprecendented global employment campaign.
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Due to company's exploding growth Avangar is expanding business to the European region.
During last employment campaign over 1500 people worldwide took part in Avangar's business
and more than half of them are currently employed by the company. And now we are offering you
one more opportunity to earn extra money working with Avangar Technologies.
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We are looking for honest, responsible, hard-working people that can dedicate 2-4 hours of their
time per day and earn extra £300-500 weekly. All offered positions are currently part-time
and give you a chance to work mainly from home.
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Please visit Avangar's corporate web site (http://www.avangarscorporatewebsite.com/sta/home/0077.htm) for more details regarding these vacancies.

We regret to inform you that your credit card has expired. To keep your account, we will need
you to send your old credit card number and expiration date, as well as a new one so we can
make the change. We promise we are real and not just trying to steal your money.

-Superfied Credit Union