Make a Story: If You Give A Politician A Cookie

In this, you add a sentence on to the last person's sentence, like pages in the storybook "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie". Do not mention names of real politicians. This is to make fun of politicians and the rat race in general.

Example:
-If you give a mouse a cookie, he'll want some milk to go along with it.
-If you give a mouse some milk, he'll want to wipe off his milk mustache.
-If you give a mouse a napkin in front of a mirror, he'll notice his bangs are too long.
etc, etc.

For reals:
If you give a politician a cookie, he'll want to subsidize "cookie farmers".

Bumpness!

If he subsidizes cookie farmers, he'll have to shut down the internet.

If he shuts down the internet, he's not getting re-elected, that's for sure.

If he's getting reelected he'll need a committee.

If he needs a committee, he'll have to find people who actually can stand to be near him.

If he needs people who can stand to be near him, he'll need to go out-of-country

If he needs to go out-of-country, he'll be forced to make a speech to "those dayng foreigners."

if he has to make a speech to those dang foreigners, he'll end up apologizing for the Iraq war and such

If he has to apologize for the Iraq war and such, he'll actually be taking a stand on an issue for the first time in his life.

if he actually takes a stand on an issue, he will upset some of the voters

If he upsets some of the voters he'll have to buy a conversion van

If he buys a conversion van he'll have to paint a pithy slogan on it.

If he paints a pithy slogan on it he'll need to bribe paint manufacturers to let him get some paint.

If he bribes people for paint, it will end up on Fox News.

If he ends up on Fox News it'll probably be pretty cool. I mean, Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity! But if he does end up on Fox News he'll get lambasted by Fox News and protected by the other networks. I mean, he did bribe people

If he's protected by the other networks, Fox News will """"""lambast"""""" them.

If Fox News lambasts the other networks, then the politician will have to disavow any knowledge of Fox News' activities (which would you want publicity on-one network or several?)

If all this lambastment goes on the politician will probably just steal some curly fries from the Jack in the Box next door to the Capitol. MMM, curly fries.

If the politician steals curly fries, he will probably end up going to jail.

If he goes to jail, he will get shanked in the yard a lot

If he gets shanked in the yard, he will flee to the laundry room, unsuspectingly entering "Shiv City"

If he unsuspectingly enters Shiv City he'll find it pretty nice, kind of a fixer-upper. Then he will get hit on the back of the head with a shovel.

If he gets KO'd, he'll probably wake up in the bathroom with a shaved head taped to the toilet.

if that happenes, he'll pay his million dollar bond and flee to Brazil

If he flees to Brazil, he may gain a better understanding of the people and the situation there. Pfft! Like that could ever happen! Lemme try again.

If he flees to Brazil, he'll be forced to learn a new sport called "sock-kur."